“Save your skin from the corrosive acids from the mouths of toxic people.
Someone who just helped you to speak evil about another person can later help another person to speak evil about you.” – Israelmore Ayivor.
It has probably happened to you at some point in your life when you are with someone, and you feel some bad vibes, almost as if that person is projecting negativity of some kind.
Here’s a thing…. One study conducted at the Belfield University in Germany revealed that plants take in energy from other plants. The results of this investigation were followed by a physician and therapist, Olivia Bader-Lee. Bader-Lee explains that human bodies are like sponges taking in energy that is around us too. Those who know me, know that I do not prescribe strongly to a great deal of theories about “energy” but we do certainly
detect a great deal of what is going on around us – and sometimes we take it on board too.
This is one reason that some people do or do not feel comfortable when they are around certain other people. I have a friend who always makes me feel alive, fills me with joy and that I laugh with greatly when I am around him, and we all have friends who often (or perhaps rarely if they are experiencing a
challenging time in their life) drain the fun and joy out of life from us – fun vampires!
It can sometimes feel quite toxic to have a chronically negative person in your life. I’m not talking about people who we are supporting through hard times in their lives, whereby it is wholly acceptable and understandable for them to be feeling low for a period of time while they deal with that – we support and
love those people through those times. I am referring to those who seem to have a negative outlook, that contaminates others, and that is usually quite unreasonable. Today, I’m sharing a few useful ways to protect you from such negativity.
1. Ignore It.
“It is easier to avoid the effects of others’ negativity when we question if an action or attitude is appropriately directed at
us. If it isn’t, we can choose to sidestep it and let it pass.” – Sue Patton Theole.
In the same way a parasite requires a host in order to live, an unreasonably negative person often needs someone to recognise, react to and share their negativity with – we have all heard the oft-used expression “misery loves company.”
Negativity often thrives on attention. Otherwise, what’s the point? When you ignore a negative person, or at least ignore their negativity, you take the wind out of it’s sails, you do not let it (the negativity) grow. You can’t tell them how they should be, but you can decide whether or not to pay attention.
If you’ve got a real negative person in your life casting shade on everyone and everything and
complaining non-stop, just remember that you can’t make everyone happy. The negativity wants to drag us down, but by remembering that you can’t make everyone happy, you preserve your own well-being and appropriate positivity.
2. Steer Clear:
“People who try to bring you down every day aren’t important in your life, so you better treat their opinions as such.” – Terry Mark.
Have you ever had a friend that just sucks the life out of you? The kind of friend that you have to gather up your strengths to hang out with and leaves you feeling emotionally and physically drained?
These kinds of people are referred to as energy vampires or fun vampires, you know the kind of thing.
You need to identify these people and understand if they are temporary takers, just going through a difficult time, or drainers who leave you feeling drained every time you get together.
If you don’t want to
feel drained, you might consider avoiding these people, or plan to spend shorter amounts of time around them. The reality is, energy vampires may not want to work on themselves and it’s up to you to decide how you allow others to effect your mood and well-being.
There’s no reason to feel guilty about spending less time around these people. You don’t want to be drained and left feeling tired so walk away from
them because you are just looking after yourself.
3. Say No:
“Stop letting people who do so little for you control so much of your mind, feelings and emotions.” – Will Smith.
It’s important to know your boundaries and speak up when they are crossed. You wouldn’t
let someone come into your home and tear it apart, so why should you let him damage your self-esteem?
Contrary to popular belief, it isn’t rude to say no to someone, and you don’t need to justify the use of the word. If you feel like you aren’t being respected, stand up for yourself and make it known.
Your time and your well-being are precious, so keep good people around you and protect yourself from the bad. If you find yourself saying no more than yes to a particular friend, consider if they are helping you grow or just holding you back. Or have a good think about what else you can do to either help them, or direct them to help themselves.
4. Take
Responsibility:
“Adopting the right attitude can convert a negative stress into a positive one.” – Hans Selye.
Ultimately, you are the only person who decides how you feel. No matter what environment you’re in, you have the choice to stay strong or to let others have power over you.
Once you take responsibility for your emotions, you release yourself from the influence of others. When you feel confident and love yourself, you gain emotional strength and endurance. It insulates you.
Don’t forget to stay appropriately positive in your daily life where possible. It’s okay to let yourself have negative thoughts every once in a while, be realistic and when you
do, work through it and learn from it.
5. Enjoy “Me” Time:
It’s important to give yourself time away from everyone so that you can tune into your own thoughts and desires. Whether it’s taking a bath or having a lazy morning in bed, schedule time to find your inner voice.
If you’re in a rough spot,
go outside. The fresh air and innocence of the natural world will make you realize that every problem is small in the scale of the universe and that life always goes on.
Soak up the pure energy of the world around you and reconnect with your authentic self.
After all, you need to keep in mind that you are
responsible for your life experience. Choose situations which boost your positivity and well-being and keep the kind of company that only adds to who you are. Make it for you and make it phenomenal!
6. Use Self-Hypnosis: Go and read the full article here, for the full step-by-step self-hypnosis process to protect yourself from other people's negativity, I love this process, use it with
myself and loads of my clients, you'll also get all the references for all the sources and articles mentioned in the article:
