I'm going to get straight into it today..... I'm writing about having a fulfilling existence today – what a huge topic to take on, and yes, we are going there today and I'm offering up loads and loads of resources for
advancing your degree of life satisfaction.
One of the reasons that I tend to veer away from a lot of reality TV these days is because it promotes a lot of the same sentiments that used to be prominent in glossy magazines back in the 80s and 90s featuring so heavily on how we look, how we compare with the lifestyles of others and seems to promote so much dissatisfaction with oneself.
Social media feeds can have a similar effect. I want to offer up an antidote to that this week.
The modern world in some corners is switching on to this and more and more research is highlighting some of the
dangers to mental health of modern living, but currently, there seems to be a lot of dissatisfaction with life among many people for a wide number of reasons. I therefore wanted to write an article that not only gives a number of ways you can very easily enjoy a more fulfilling day-to-day life, but also one that enriches your life on a number of levels – it is very simple and can be so wonderfully rewarding.
Here are a number of ways to have a more fulfilling existence.
1. Be kind to yourself, You matter:
If you are not going to be kind to yourself, how can you expect others to do
so?
Of course, you take care of your body; eat well, sleep well, exercise, breathe fresh air and so on. Then you need to love yourself and express self-love and self-compassion. Learn to accept who you are, even if you wish to change and develop and accept where you are at currently.
Here are some good articles to help with this point:
2. Have a rewarding support network:
In order to build effectively upon the foundation of being good to yourself, you need an effective support network. That is, however kind you are to yourself, if those closest to you continually disparage you, then you may struggle.
Look closely at the people you spend the most time with;
- Do they lift you up?
- DO they encourage you?
Or
- Do they hold you back?
- Point out and highlight your flaws?
Do you need to distance yourself from some of those people?
Distancing yourself may be painful, but much more so if you keep letting their negative influence effect you and your life satisfaction.
Also though, the health benefits of healthy, real-life interaction of a supportive support network can be very beneficial.
Read this for more on that
topic:
3.
Do not be dictated to by media:
Whether it is the TV, films, social media, glossy magazines or any other form of media, you consume, do not let yourself be dictated to by it!
Your scars are part of the journey, your wrinkles show you lived, your hair colour is
beautiful.
Forget what the media tells us is a standard of beauty, forget how the media tells you to behave or what you need to do in order to be deemed a success.
There is no need to hide a defect; embrace it as part of the unique experience of being you, there is no need to obscure your
idiosyncrasies, enjoy your own quirks, preferences and do the things that you love doing, even if that makes you a geek (or rather, especially because it makes you a geek!).
Embrace your differences! I have ginger hair. All my life, I’ve been aware of how it is seemingly ok for people to make fun of hair colour – it is different and often stands out. When I lived on a kibbutz in Israel in my
late teens and when traveling through Egypt and Syria, people would often ask to touch my hair because they had never met anyone with my colouring before!
Today, I love it. I embrace it. My daughter has striking red hair and she loves it too. We raise her to love and accept how she is and celebrate it, regardless of being different or media interpretations of what makes people most
attractive.
We were born as we are, we are special as a result. If you attempt to fit in and adhere to what media dictates is beauty or the norm, or acceptable, then you are being set up for a fall and you’ll have a far less fulfilling existence. Your differences make you unique, so you should own your individuality. If you are going to get rid of it, how would people distinguish
you?
A related article that will help you with this point:
4. Adopt a positive mental
filter where possible:
Learn from mistakes. Figure out the lesson. You have two choices: sit there wallowing in self-pity and accomplish nothing, OR, find the lesson and turn this negative quickly into a positive!
Finding and learning a lesson is how you immediately pull yourself up off the ground.
When we are in pain, the feelings can disable us and the wheels might come off. Dig deep, breathe, and start to work out ways in which you can learn from this and write a list of how you’ll be stronger as a result.
When you adopt a certain attitude, you arrive at the healthy realisation that there’s much to learn and there is often a bright side in many of life’s challenging situations. No need to dwell on the bad things, you run the risk of forgetting how great life actually is. Don’t let a bad day make you believe in a bad life.
Reframe problems, because they are necessary to help you grow, develop and learn to live a fulfilling life. Whether you like it or not, you cannot avoid all issues in life, you need to face the challenges that life throws up.
How you respond to the challenges
of your life opens the path of self-discovery and you learn about yourself. Read these articles for more on this:
5. Recognise and enjoy the small
things:
“Everyone is trying to accomplish something big, not realizing that life is made up of little things.” – Frank Clark.
Enjoying a more fulfilling life isn’t always about gaining massive recognition, having major life
triumphs or being validated and adored by others; it’s also about being able to appreciate the small victories that you can celebrate and enjoy
When you shift your focus slightly, you can discover that so many small things can actually put a big smile on your face each day.
Enjoy simple, small things; smiles, jokes, nuances, momentary quirks and small moments of beauty.
Two days ago, I spent the day at our local beach in our beach hut with my wife and children, my
children’s Uncle and cousins came and joined us – usually October is cold here, but we had a mild, balmy day due to a rare weather system. So we had cups of tea and flew cheap kites on a fairly quiet beach, just small things that put a great big smile on my face (go and take a look at my Instagram or Twitter feeds to see the pictures I shared from that day).
6. Reignite the dream!
Some people stop reaching for their dreams because they have given up on those dreams.
Dreams give us hope, inspire us, give us purpose.
Part of who you are, are the dreams you have. For many, giving up on your dreams, is like giving up on yourself. Any setbacks and knock downs can make
you more determined to have a more fulfilling existence, so start believing you are capable of those dreams once again.
This is not about fantasising, but about developing grit, getting back up, showing up each day and choosing to go for it!
Read these articles to help yourself be strong enough to reignite the dreams you have for yourself:
7. Abandon perfectionism:
With the exception of Mary
Poppins, no-one is perfect. Perfectionsim detrimentally effects those looking for a more fulfilling existence. Do not aspire to be perfect or to have a perfect life.
Stop perceiving the ways people portray and highlight their lives on social media and of course, stop comparing yourself to others. Find the beauty
and joy in your reality, which may be a more sober reality at times, but celebrate that sober reality.
Recognise the fact that you shouldn’t live to the expectations of other people, media portrayals and so on. You and your life are absolutely beautiful in their own ways; just recognise how that is true for you.
Attempting to live a life of a fantastical ideal may create dissatisfaction and insecurity with what you have.
Instead, choose to be thankful and express gratitude for who and how you are and how your life is. Be thankful that you are alive and you
have so much in your life. Instead of pining for what you do not have, become more satisfied with what you do have. You still can have ambition, but it’ll be easier and more enjoyable when you are thankful for all that you do have in your life.
“Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will
never, ever have enough.” – Oprah Winfrey.
Stop comparing yourself and your life to others. It is like comparing cats and dogs. They might be cute animals, but they’re not the same type. Even a dog is different from another dog.
Again, it becomes frustrating and dissatisfying to compare yourself with others, and can end up with you feeling disappointed with who and how you are. Learn to accept who and how you are and be thankful for that. Here are some articles to help with these points:
8. Affirm the right message:
We create a more fulfilling
existence with what we allow in our minds.
Invest well in the messages and dominant thoughts you allow yourself to take on board. Learn self-hypnosis, use affirmations, develop valuable mantras.
Borrow motivational quotes and snippets. Create lists and read them daily. Here are a couple of great ways to build upon this:
One of the quotes I mention to all of my students who are learning to be hypnotherapists or looking to advance their careers is as follows:
“Who you are speaks so loudly, I can’t hear what you’re saying.” –
Ralph Waldo Emerson.
I love that for so many reasons. In class, I say this because so many people get worried about the finer details, saying the right words, choosing the right way forward, yet when they focus on being the right person, with the right attitude and outlook, everything else often falls into place. Life becomes much more fulfilling and enriched – thus, a more fulfilling
existence, eh?
Learn how to celebrate all that you are, and be the person you choose to be for your own reasons. You don’t need the validation of anyone else or society in general to have a fulfilling existence. Fulfillment will arrive as you start embracing the real you and that is and incredible gift to give yourself.
These are just basic foundations, yet they can have a profound effect. You are alive, so why not make some simple tweaks such as these to advance the quality and experience of being alive and let it lead to a more fulfilling existence.
