- Hello and welcome to this week's edition of Adam Up.
I wrote an article over at my training college website this week to help answer a question I get asked a great deal.
Hypnosis Weekly - Dan Cleary |
Over on the Hypnosis Weekly podcast this week, I interview and discuss approach with Dan Cleary over in the US.
I really enjoyed this particular conversation because Dan has used hypnosis himself on a daily basis since the 1970s following a motorcycle accident that left him partially paralysed and with a lot of ongoing pain.
You can go and listen to that edition of Hypnosis over at the
hypnosis weekly website.
Self-Hypnosis - What a Life Changing Package |
A lot of people ask me about that type of application of self-hypnosis, and this week I have had many queries asking me how I use self-hypnosis when running, how I use it for relaxing, how I use
it for this, how I use it for that….
I then also see a lot of myth and nonsense being perpetuated in the media about what self-hypnosis is and what it can do, and it amazes me that there is so much misleading information out there that leads people in the wrong direction as far as self-hypnosis is concerned.
If you really want to learn how to use self-hypnosis, then I think we offer the best, most evidence-based, scientific, practical, simple and easy to use education on that subject and have a couple of options for you:
Do go and take a look at this amazing product there is a video on the sales page. You will realise that this is an exceptional offer STEP 2. We will then send you Adam Eason's book 'The Science Of Self-Hypnosis' FREE to anybody who has bought the video/audio
programme
STEP 3. AND - If you’d like to step that up and come and meet me, ask questions, and get further practical applications of self-hypnosis then here is another thing we will do.
You’ll learn all you ever need to really use self-hypnosis effectively and have it as an integral part of your life.
Advanced Hypnotherapy Diploma |
June is here! It does not quite feel like Summer despite a couple of lovely days of sunshine here during the Bank Holiday weekend, at the end of
this month I will be running our Advanced Hypnotherapy Diploma.
Onto today’s Adam Up About Relationships… |
Recently, things that have gone well for me and my business because of having existing great professional relationship, or as a result of developing a great relationship.
I do my very best to develop good quality relationships with the guests on my podcasts, with people I meet professionally at events, as well as with my clients and students. These strong relationships often lead to opportunities and help to develop my
business. But primarily it feels good and healthy to lead life in a way that is supported by quality relationships.
These relationships have provided opportunities to teach overseas, lecture at conferences, get major client referrals. I managed to secure a major international speaker for my peer support group which he could have turned down politely - it was not a paid gig -
not even hundreds of people - and his schedule has seen him present on the QE2, at Sydney Opera House and to packed corporate audiences. Upon thanking him so much for speaking to my group here in Bournemouth, he replied that he was honoured to do so and thanked ME for the time, energy and effort I had invested in him at an earlier date on a course of mine he had attended. It was lovely to hear that and really reinforced the importance of investing myself in others
as much as possible.
Just about every hypnotherapist is taught to develop effective relationships with their clients. We learn the research backed notion of developing a working alliance and how it is important in order to advance therapeutic outcomes. Evidence suggests that sometimes the therapeutic alliance can create wonderful therapeutic outcomes in the absence of quality
therapy!
A therapeutic relationship is a wonderful thing, it is a place where trust exists, ideas are shared, support is shared and the very notion of it being a ‘working alliance’ (Bordin, 1979) indicates the importance of us needing to work at relationships rather than just having expectation about them.
I
often talk to my students about the importance of being able to tell the difference between an effective therapeutic alliance and having rapport. Rapport tends to focus more upon people liking each other, finding common ground and so on, whereas with a working alliance trust is created and there is an agreement on tasks and goals and the relationship grows out of respect and credibility. There are parallels with this in personal relationships too. Typically, people want relationships with others
who they like, have common ground with and do not necessarily want to work hard to develop the relationship and evidence would suggest that this is actually not the right way to go about things.
Do you remember that very popular cartoon strip entitled “Love Is”? They were written by Kim Grove who published several books of these cartoons and they featured in our newspaper back in the day too. Some of
the cartoons were funny, some sentimental, some poignant, some that would be agreed upon in our house and some that would divide opinion. If you google “Love is cartoon” you’ll see some of the many, many hundreds of different Love Is cartoons like this one: Most people believe that relationships need to be built upon a foundation of love and romance that turns into a fairy tale of more love
as depicted in many of the Love Is cartoons. Yet the research about having a lasting, happy relationship tends to be far more sober and actually quite unromantic. Likewise, in therapy, the effective relationship is not actually always about liking each other, but about having mutual respect and working together to create the best outcomes.
When looking for love, just seeking out someone who you share interests with, as is a common feature of internet dating, for example, is flawed. People often assume that if they have plenty in common, and share numerous similarities, that there will not be problems, however, all relationships have issues and problems at some stage. Being able to work through them is important, being able to be resilient, learn from issues and grow out of them is what makes the effective,
long-lasting relationship, not lazily thinking about having perfection and romance from the very beginning and expecting it to last forever.
Therefore, healthy reactions and responses to arguments and issues are important. Having fights is actually ok, it is usual and perfectly natural. If you are not fighting at all, the
likelihood is that you are probably not communicating at all. (Gottman, 2014, What Predicts Divorce) If you think about the therapeutic relationship of therapist and patient, you can draw some parallels with arranged marriages. A therapist and a client need to work on developing the relationship so it benefits them and they derive the best possible outcomes. Likewise when people enter into an arranged marriage,
whilst they may be harder in the beginning, after a few years they are as successful and often more successful than marriages founded upon romantic ideals of love. Research supports this.
Arranged marriages are not being advocated here, just the underlying notion that you have to work at it in order for it to be successful.
People in arranged marriages do not have any illusions of romance which can and do often lead to great disappointment. They know that in order for the marriage to be successful, they need to work at it and develop it accordingly. They have a similar attitude that therapists need when they are working with clients, they adopt a mindset and work hard to make it effective. Therapists do not give up on their clients if they do not immediately hit it off with their clients. We reflect, we take
it to supervision, we persevere, we help, we support, we serve and things develop as a result.
How we reflect upon the challenges is important and how we then respond to them. If we simply believe that each argument or issue is a disaster and it is awful, then what do you think happens to that relationship[. Yet when the
attitude is one whereby arguments and issues are challenges that were overcome and that resulted in the relationship being stronger….. That attitude helps create a stronger relationship.
When you enter any communication, you have an opportunity to develop a relationship that can nurture and support you both in a wide number
of ways. Therefore, adopt a mindset that ensures you seek to serve those you communicate with, do all you can to ensure you remain present and focused while communicating and demonstrate an appropriate level of bold enthusiasm in the communication then I think you’ll develop quality relationships much more easily. If you also do stuff like smiling more, take a genuine interest in those you communicate with and actively listen (where you fully listen without thinking about what you are going to
say next) then you’ll really start finding your relationships are far more effective and will lead to a much more rewarding life.
There is much more that builds personal and professional relationships too and I have written about many of them before, do go and have a read of these articles that illustrate many different
ways to use self-hypnosis to develop your relationships:
Hypnotherapy Training With AE College Of Hypnosis
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OUR MISSION TO PROVIDE THE BEST
HYPNOTHERAPY TRAINING
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Hypnosis Resources In Our Platinum Members Area
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This is a major collection of audios and videos that are a resource for our Hypnotherapy Students. We now have made them available for anyone wanting to learn more about
hypnosis.
Once you are a member you get all updates automatically.
We are going to be adding new more recordings of new courses and seminars later this
year.
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While we were on the subject, here are a couple of marriage related jokes I quite enjoyed this week:
1. A woman noticed her
husband standing on the bathroom scale, sucking in his stomach. “Ha! That’s not going to help,” she said.
“Sure, it does,” he said. “It’s the only way I can see the numbers.”
2. I once gave my husband the silent treatment for an entire week, at the end of which he declared, “Hey, we’re getting along pretty great lately!”
3. A therapist has a theory that couples who make love once a day are the happiest. So he tests it at a seminar by asking those assembled, “How many people here make love once a day?” Half the people raise their hands, each of them grinning widely. “Once a week?” A third of
the audience members raise their hands, their grins a bit less vibrant. “Once a month?” A few hands tepidly go up. Then he asks, “OK, how about once a year?”
One man in the back jumps up and down, jubilantly waving his hands. The therapist is shocked—this disproves his theory. “If you make love only once a year,” he
asks, “why are you so happy?”
The man yells, “Today’s the day!”
I really liked those, thank you to everyone who send in the jokes each
week, I love getting them. Why not get over and join Adam's Hypnosis
Hub. Anyone interested in Hypnosis may join. You could then add a caption to our weekly image.
share the meme of the week:
Any Questions Or Help Needed -
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Us:- Do feel free to contact us if you need help or more information about our courses, seminars, products. It is in fact great to get to know you all.
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