**, - Adam Up - OVER-Thinking is Not Good

Published: Thu, 11/12/15

Nov #2
Edition #521
Hello - and Welcome to Adam Up
This week, a client I saw a number of years ago featured in the Sun newspaper and the Daily Mail, do have a read. 

Great to see success stories in the media.

Those of you readers that are hypnotherapists, you can read my further thoughts on the usefulness of these big types of media articles later on in Adam Up today, because I really think many hypnotherapists have gone a completely wrong idea about how to run an effective business.

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On to Today's Adam Up - This week, I am writing about Over-Thinking and Rumination.....
It can sometimes be tough to maintain a positive outlook on life, can’t it?

The human condition is such that a period of 30 minutes can seem like an emotional roller coaster on some days flitting from one emotion to another.

The real problems occur when we let negative thinking patterns spiral out of control. Very often, the spiral starts as a result of over-analysis of events and circumstances that ought not make us feel so bad. We ruminate about the event and start to find things that were not there and then start to make connections, associate that event with lots of others and then we invest belief in those thoughts and it can drive us mad.

If this is familiar or typical of you, then you may be a ruminator or an over-thinker, and it could be detrimentally effecting your physical and mental health.
Man Thinking
Last year, a good friend of mine Jill Alldridge highlighted and presented here at a college event a majorly impressive and important study “Psychological Processes Mediate the Impact of Familial Risk, Social Circumstances and Life Events on Mental Health” by Kinderman, Scwannauer, Pontin and Tai.

I say that it is an impressive study because it had 32,827 participants from 172 countries in it.
 
While the study showed that life events were the largest predictors of stress, followed by family history, income and education, relationship status, and social inclusion, it also showed that stress only occurred if the individual engaged in negative over-thinking about the events. It showed that people who did not do this did not become as stressed or depressed, even if they had experienced many negative events in their lives.

As stated in the study;

“Our results demonstrate that … a greater tendency to ruminate and self-blame powerfully determine the impact of familial histories of mental health problems, life events and traumas, and social deprivation, in … depression and anxiety… and wellbeing.”
 
7 Steps To Grind Rumination To A Halt

Many of my clients are over-thinkers, and I have been prone to over-thinking and ruminating on occasion in my life and there is no simple solution to fixing it. Rather, a series of processes and personal management needs to be undertaken.

The following 7 tips will help you forge new habits of thought and grind rumination to a halt so that it stops having a negative impact on your life:

Take Action
1. Take Action

With over-thinking often comes what is referred to as ‘analysis paralysis.’

This is whereby you are thinking a great deal, but not taking any progressive action. The rumination renders us immobile when it comes to dealing with matters at hand, creating a fertile ground for more negative thought to be cultivated.

Taking that very first step can be tough, but putting an action plan in place and making even small strides towards what you want is going to create change.

Thinking about the change you want may make things worse if you do nothing about it. Take action today, this very day. It can feel counter-intuitive, it sounds obvious, but most end up wallowing in debilitating over-thinking which anchors us to negative feelings and unhappiness.

What actions can you take this very day that would start making a difference to your life?

When you engage in action, you start to set yourself free.

Do remember the absolute futility of over-thinking. It does not help the issue at all.

To continue to analyse things in theory does not create change. You need to move out of the theory and have a full blown real-life experience of the solution - by taking action.

The action will actually end up leading to more clarity of thought than the rumination.
2. Be Mindful.

There is an often quoted saying from Lao Tzu:
“If you are depressed you are living in the past, if you are anxious you are living in the future, and if you are at peace you are living in the present.”

Over-thinkers are often ruminating about the past or the future and lose track of being present in this moment, they get consumed with the past or future and have no idea of how to connect with this moment, let alone how to fall in love with it and enjoy the now.

We can learn how to step back from our thoughts by engaging in the present moment and learning how to observe ourselves from a distance.

That is, we recognise ourselves thinking thoughts and feeling feelings rather than only directly experiencing them. We notice what we are doing from a dissociated viewpoint. That place beyond our thoughts can be calm, peaceful and even joyful.

It is undoubtedly exhausting to ruminate and overthink, so being able to step back and away from our thoughts can be a valuable tonic.

When you practice mindfulness, you become a non-thinker instead of an over-thinker.

One of the principles of ACT, mindfulness based acceptance and commitment therapy, teaches individuals how to sit and accept feelings and thoughts too, not fight them and let them create problems for us.

This slows down our thoughts and creates inner peace.

3. Your Support Network.

Firstly, it can be useful to receive quality feedback from a mentor, a professional peer, a friend or family member. The feedback needs to be objective, useful and relevant. It cannot fuel your over-thinking by simply being what you want to hear.

It can be incredibly valuable to shift your perspective and have an outside, neutral stance on matters at hand. It gives you a chance to step outside of your own biases, leanings and emotive position. Getting a fresh stance on matters can be like a waft of smelling salts to the senses.
 
Research has shown that social support reduces stress, it is important that you do not use this as an opportunity to vent.

Evidence would suggest that venting does not help over thinkers, and can actually contribute more stress to your situation.
One study - Relationship Of Empathy To Co-Rumination and Cortisol Secretion in Female  showed that talking things out is almost another form of ruminating whereby you simply turn the same stuff over and over and can make things worse for you.

Even worse, if the other person you are talking things out with and venting to is also an over-thinker, it will lead to amplified stress and negativity.

In the absence of a good quality source of feedback in your support network, you can write your thoughts down to get them out of your head and put them into some perspective, - evidence supports this notion.


4. Abandon Perfectionism:

Quit waiting for the perfect time, the perfect conditions, or the perfect situation to arise before you take steps forward.

It is great for us all to have aspirations, but being a perfectionist and expecting perfection is unrealistic and immobilises us in the same way over-analysis (paralysis) does. Make it your aim to improve and advance in life, but do not expect perfection.

The reality is that you can’t control everything. There are always going to be circumstances beyond your control and appreciate that it is ok to encounter problems, and it is ok to encounter set-backs, in fact these are the areas that create growth and development for us.

You can read this article about learning to relish problems which will help in this regard - Learn To Enjoy Life's Problems

When you abandon perfectionism, you can start to abandon trying to be too careful, you can make bold decisions and move towards happiness and greatness in your life.

Stop worrying about the outcome and start experiencing it, even if it is less than perfect - which you may come to love even more.

5. Self Forgiveness.


When you are compassionate towards yourself and also forgive yourself, stop being so hard on yourself, then over-thinking often dissipates.


Once you recognise that you ruminate, forgive yourself for it because your brain is wired for over-thinking.

A leading authority on this is psychologist Susan Nolen-Hoeksema who has demonstrated that our memories and thoughts are threaded together in the brain and not compartmentalised, so the brain is naturally set-up to ruminate.  When any single stressor is activated, the ensuing bad feelings, emotions or mood can unlock a number of other negative thoughts that are unrelated to the initial trigger.

Having an argument with a colleague at work triggers feelings related to a relationship break-up! The individual starts to make connections between other bad events and this leads to further rumination and over-thinking.

When we forgive ourselves, it puts an end to that.

Forgiving others leads to inner peace too. Evidence 'The New Science of Forgiveness' shows that when we forgive ourself and others, it can boost our self-esteem, elevate our moods, improve health greatly and advance relationships.
6. Become A Critical Thinker.

Be healthily sceptical, which is very different to being cynical.

Learn Socratic questioning techniques. Then begin to apply them to your own thoughts, because your thoughts are not facts. When we believe our thoughts are facts, that causes the stress and problems to rise.  

See your thoughts, be aware of them (as per our earlier point on being mindful) and start to ask:

“Is that a fact or opinion?”
“Where is the evidence for that thought?”
“Is that thought definitely true?”

Seek the truth in your thoughts and beliefs and recognise that the belief invested in things which have not evidence, are assumptions and are distorted are actually causing you problems.

This will create a much more relaxed mind.

7. Physical Activity.

In an earlier point about taking action, it was action toward change that we referred to. Here, we are referring to physiological action, exercise and movement.

When the body is still, the mind has all the space it needs to over-think. So we want our thoughts to have a purpose and a goal rather than being aimless.

Make it a goal to engage in regular physical activity where your heart rate is raised.

Let it tire you out healthily, let it burn some calories, and negative thoughts will get burned along with them. Engage in an exercise that you enjoy that is not therefore a chore and make it part of your daily regimen. You’ll get oxygen in your system, you’ll make better decisions and as your breathing is elevated, you’ll find it easier to connect to the present moment a lot more too.

Do also consider training your brain to busy your brain and tire it out too. Creative arts, brain training apps, new languages, musical instruments, engaging in puzzles are all ways of creating a healthy brain.

Employ these 7 tips each day and you'll notice that you are ruminating less and you will stop with the over-thinking. Put your brain to work doing things that make you happy, joyful and satisfied rather spending it's energy ruminating and over-thinking will ultimately make us unhappy.

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Why Do Hypnotherapists Seek Media Coverage? Does It Really Boost A Hypnotherapy Business?
In the 1970s, a band called Dr Hook (some of my more mature readers will have heard of them) sang a chart topping song called ‘Cover of the Rolling Stone’ and they sang;

“Wanna see my picture on the cover
Wanna buy five copies for my mother…
Wanna see my smilin’ face
On the cover of the Rollin’ Stone…”


That’s what all us hypnotherapists want too, isn’t it?
Big time media coverage.
Because if we do, our therapy rooms will bulge at the seams, overflowing with clients and we’ll have credibility and be considered a hot-shot superstar hypnotherapist…. And our Mums will proudly leave a copy of the newspaper article lying around for when the ladies of the WI pop round for a coffee morning and can be impressed.

Where am I going with this? Well let me explain….

At the end of last week, I was mentioned in an article in the Sun news paper. It was a great success story. A client I had worked with back in 2009, a lovely man by the name of Adam Broomfield-Strawn, was featured and was telling his story about how he overcame a debilitating phobia and fear of the childbirth experience but wanted to be present at the birth of his son.

I was really proud to share the story on all our media channels. I featured only briefly in it because when I was interviewed, the journalist said I used too many big words that would not suit the Sun newspaper readers.

You can read the article here:
I had to undergo hypnotherapy to see my baby born

It is a really lovely story, with a happy ending and I think it is great to see these type of stories find their way into the public to demonstrate what hypnotherapy is capable of.

That is not my main point here today though.

Several of the graduates of my college and hypnotherapy peers asked me how I managed to get that article organised and the truth is that I did not organise it. In fact I openly told them all that I do not make any effort at all to get this type of media attention.

If the client wishes to share his or her story and has the opportunity or connections, then it is lovely, as was the case with this Sun article last week. But I do not actively seek this kind of thing.

The journalist and media group have asked to do more pieces with me and I have not taken them up on it.

Why not?

Because it does not build a hypnotherapy business. In fact, I think it makes very little contribution in reality to the number of clients a hypnotherapist sees in his or her hypnotherapy consulting rooms.

A major article may get you a small amount of kudos among a small number of peers. This might be useful for somebody like myself for whom it is important to develop kudos among professionals as I run a training college offering training and CPD to fellow hypnotherapy professionals.

Though I think it is minimal use even for that end.

However, if you are purely a hypnotherapist, do you need kudos among your peers? Not really.

Maybe if you are seeking referrals from professional peers? I think you can make those connections in far simpler ways. Like meeting up, like networking, like forum discussions and also by being good at what you do and building a quality reputation based upon results and professionalism.

Some might argue that a major article featuring you may help you be perceived as credible by prospective clients. Again, there are better ways of developing the same perception. Again, getting good quality results for your clients and being professional in your business is a great starting point for this.

If you sat down and analysed it, I suspect very, very few hypnotherapists indeed actually derive any properly beneficial impact to their business as a result of these types of articles, and certainly any impact will not be sustained for long.

You see, every week, I see a handful of pretty poor quality provincial newspaper advertisements of newly qualified hypnotherapists who want to tell a local journalist that they are open for shop and what they can help with.

Or provincial newspapers that are offering an interview with a local seasoned hypnotherapist who is offering a generic spiel about what they do and how they help people.

These types of articles might make you feel good for a few moments, they might put a momentary smile on the face on anyone who knows you already who sees it, they might make your Mum proud, but do they really cause droves of people to start booking hypnotherapy sessions with you?

If not, why do so many hypnotherapists persist with this avenue?

Or there are bigger mainstream media newspapers with success stories about someone who has eaten nothing but cotton wool for a century and overcame it with hypnotherapy; or an individual who reduced 50 stone and no longer needs to wear the clown trousers each day; or an individual who spent 25 years unable to leave the garden shed for fear of treading on a piece of stray lego, but a hypnotherapist helped and now they are free and roaming the streets again.

Hypnosis and hypnotherapy in tabloids

Do these articles lead to droves and droves of clients? Not really.


Lets be honest an article featuring anyone outside of London is unlikely to attract people to travel great distances for hypnotherapy.

You are more likely to spur on interest in the field of hypnotherapy and help hypnotherapists get more enquiries (which is great, thanks) but is not going to be that long-lived an impact.

Again then I ask the question, why do so many hypnotherapists persist with this and consider it important?

Is it ego?

Is someone telling them all to do it?


Is it simply a way of burning up some extra energised enthusiasm that they don’t want to spend doing something productive thank you very much?!


If the story was a direct endorsement and contained direct links, it can be different. We had some of our audio products endorsed by a Doctor in a national newspaper a few years ago and we sold loads of products that weekend.

But a feature about you as a hypnotherapist, is less likely to result in the same sort of impact.

The media also tend to bend stories in a way that suits them best. They want impressive headlines that will cause people to read their newspaper.

They are not interested in educating the public accurately about hypnosis and hypnotherapy. I’m not really keen to fuel that for the sake of some cheap publicity. Heck though, that is a debate and discussion for another day.

My work has featured on primetime BBC1, on ITV, on Children’s BBC (I know, impressive, eh?!), radio two, radio five, as well as in almost every one of the major national UK newspapers, numerous glossy magazines, every running magazine known to man, as well as more specialist press. They have all been temporarily very good for my ego, they have helped with book sales on occasion, but it was not these things that had people wanting to come and see me as a hypnotherapist.

Chasing media exposure should not be your main idea for how to grow your hypnotherapy practice. Anyone telling you to do so is misleading you.

The media works well for a very, very small number of elite individuals that have regular TV appearances, or their own TV shows and there are not realistically many hypnotherapists who are going to be able to do that.

Media stories are great for our field, they create a certain degree of healthy publicity about the possibilities that exist for anyone looking for health solutions.

Media stories often portray hypnosis as being powerful and beneficial and we can educate the public and our clients in ways to correct any misconceptions and misinformation the media spreads.

However, the same media exposure does not build a thriving hypnotherapy practice, don’t be fooled into thinking it does.

Seek out more effective ways and means of developing your business.

Heck, if you really want to learn how to build an effective, thriving hypnotherapy business, come and join our 2016 Hypnotherapist Business Development Academy.

In the meantime though, I will leave you with Dr Hook.

This song will take up less than 4 minutes of your day, and it’ll put a smile on your face, so sit back and enjoy it.

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Joke Of The Week
This week, we have a set of psychiatry puns for your enjoyment….
  • If you think you are a set of curtains, either see a psychiatrist or pull yourself together.

  • My shrink assures me that my obsession with the formalization of puns is just a 'phrase I'm going through'.

  • You've got more issues than Time magazine.

  • Psychiatrists and rectal doctors deal with odds and ends.

  • The middle east does not need any psychiatrists because there are nomad people.

  • A patient came running to my psychiatry office screaming "I'm a teepee! I'm a wigwam!" I told him "Relax, you're two tents".

  • The psychiatrist told the genie his emotions were all bottled up.

  • If you get a fruit basket from your psychiatrist it will probably be shrink-wrapped.

  • A psychiatrist on a hike fell into a depression.

  • Psychiatrists like Kentucky Freud Chicken.
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