1. We have a lot of strengths and weaknesses, and that is what makes us human. However, sometimes we forget about all the strengths we have and solely focus on our weaknesses. Over the course of many years, scientists have discovered that each person possesses all twenty-four character strengths in varying
degrees. Character strengths are parts of your personality that make you feel authentic. Do you ever wonder what you can do when you fully utilise your strengths? What might you achieve? You might not feel that these strengths are important, but using your character strengths, such as the phasic strength of raising to the occasion or the signature strength that contributes to your uniqueness, can help enhance your life.
Just like our character strengths, we have several untapped inner resources within our grasp. With just a little bit of time and effort, you can tap into your inner resources and realise your full potential. Carl Rogers founded the person-centred approach in the 1940s, which was based on the idea that everyone has inner resources that allow a person to cope with life and achieve his/her maximum potential. He strongly
believed that people have everything inside of them to live a truly happy and fulfilling life. Rogers said: “What you are is good enough if you would be it openly.”
Carl Rogers is right, you know. Most of the time, what we need to survive and thrive is inside of us, but we don’t know how to access it. The good news is that if you haven’t discovered your inner resources already, you still can just with a little guidance and effort. In this article, there are six ways that allow you to tap into your inner resources and make a positive difference in your life...
2. I’ve written numerous articles related to this theme over the years, because it is something that I have found to be so important professionally and personally.
“Imperfections are not inadequacies: they’re reminders that we are all in this together.”- Brene Brown
Our imperfections are what makes us human. Our strengths and our flaws are what define us. Nobody is perfect! Everyone has flaws! You just have to find a way to live with them (even better – embrace them). But just because everyone has imperfections doesn’t mean it is easy to handle them. Sometimes we find it very hard to embrace and accept our flaws. We set unrealistically high standards for ourselves and when we fail to
achieve them, we beat ourselves up.
Then We measure our self-worth through our accomplishments. We often find ourselves in denial regarding our flaws. This constant obsession that many have with leaving no room for errors and being perfect all the time can be seriously damaging to our confidence and self-esteem. If your desire to be perfect all the time is affecting your perception of self-worth and is causing you self-doubt then know that you can benefit
from learning how to accept and embrace your imperfections. Here are 8 tips that will help you embrace your flaws...
3. “Your relationship with yourself sets the tone for every other relationship you have.”
I find myself agreeing with the above Robert Holden quote. You see, when we connect with ourselves, it usually leads to more meaningful connections with others. When we check in with ourselves, we can build more fulfilling lives for ourselves, and we no longer strive purely for external satisfaction. Having a healthy relationship with ourselves prevents us from being unnecessarily self-critical and judgmental. Going
through life disconnected from yourself, not knowing who you are, can be hard.
When you learn to forge a relationship with yourself and are more attuned to how you feel and what is going on in your mind and body, you can feel more supported and at peace. Having a deep connection with yourself means recognising your emotions, thoughts, sensations, and feelings, which helps you respond to your needs more effectively. It also means knowing yourself inside out and not pausing to think about your strength
and weakness in any particular scenario. When you have a deep connection with yourself, you understand more about what you need and desire. You are more aware of what sets you apart from others and what it is that you need to work on.
Knowing that you are disconnected (in the first place) is just as important as having a deep connection with yourself. Finding this disconnection is not all that difficult. Your self-doubt, low self-esteem, negative inner voice, stress, anxiety, and lack of emotional stability all signal your disconnection with your inner self.
Today many of us find ourselves in a culture of busyness. The grind culture, the hustle culture, makes us want to climb higher up the hierarchy and get a bigger title, better job, and more money, always grasping for that which we do not have. This constant obsession with striving and putting work above everything else can cut some of us off from our inner selves. The consequence of the burnout culture is a disconnection from ourselves.
Due to this disconnection, we can feel empty and unsatisfied even when achieving our professional goals. When we develop a connection with ourselves, we stop depending upon external validation and recognition for inner worthiness. So, establishing a good relationship with yourself is a great way to start loving yourself unconditionally and raising your self-esteem.
Building a deeper connection with yourself is not always easy. Like every relationship, creating a relationship with yourself requires investment of time, effort, and commitment. Here, I’m sharing 6 ways to help you connect with yourself more. Understanding the ethos of the approaches outlined here will help you find other ways that resonate with you more too...
4. Have you ever frozen in front of a room full of people while giving a speech even though you knew exactly what you had to say? Happens to the best of us. Despite rehearsing for days and committing the speech to memory, sometimes we stutter, stumble, or forget what we had to say altogether. The pressure that comes with high-stakes situations sometimes destroys our ability to do as well as we know we are
capable of; something often referred to as choking under pressure.
Choking under pressure is a very common phenomenon affecting many high-achieving students, athletes, and performers. This process is not just mental but physical as well. Choking under pressure in high-stakes situations can trigger neurological reactions that can hamper a person’s performance either through loss of motor function or loss of memory. When we are anxious, our body produces endorphins and adrenaline to calm us.
These two hormones act as a mild opiate.
Aimee Daramus, a clinical psychologist, says, “When you’re anxious, you’re also basically a little high and a little stoned.” This neurological response of our body to high-pressure situations causes distraction as well as memory loss which affects our performance.
Recently the phenomenon of choking under pressure has been receiving a lot of scientific attention. It’s an area I work with a great deal with my sporting clients in particular. Psychologists and neurologists are trying to figure out why choking occurs in the first place. According to research, loss-averse and smart people are more likely to crack under pressure.
Loss aversion reflects the tendency in people to avoid losses. So, when the reward for winning is huge, people who are highly loss averse are more likely to crack under pressure than people who are not so loss averse. Similarly, smarter people are also more likely to choke in high tense situations.
Smarter people usually have bigger working memories which allow them to solve complex math problems or understand things better. However, during high-pressure situations, anxiety clogs their working memory, and they are forced to change their game plan in order to solve problems. Not being able to rely on their working memory as they normally do, impedes their performance.
Cracking under pressure is not uncommon. We have all experienced this in one form or the other. However, this doesn’t mean we can’t do anything about it. In this article, I'm sharing six scientifically-backed strategies that will prevent you from choking under pressure.
