Hello and welcome to this week's Adam Up.

OK, so my hypnotherapy diploma course is totally full and places are sold out. We do have new dates ready for next year, so if you'd like a prospectus with all the new dates, and for the dates of our intensive course next year, get in touch with me and I'll send you one on.

Photo: oOlemon

While away on a brilliant training course last week, I was reintroduced to a process and technique that is often overlooked by many therapists, yet is one of the most empirically researched and proven ways of affecting progressive change within people.

Let me explain something first up, though... A few years ago, I had a client who was experiencing anxiety for much of each day. He came to one session with me and was shaking, I mean shaking with dread, anxiety and was in one heck of a state. I asked him to run me through the cause of his anxiety and he explained in great detail.

His explanation was very vivid, he was almost inside of the experience while he talked about it. He was filled with tears and was sobbing in a way that made it difficult to understand what he was saying at first. So I asked him to explain it all again. He looked at me oddly and then proceeded to run through the entire thing again, though with no tears this time.

I told him that I was still unsure of all the details in my mind and so could he please explain it once more for me. He looked at me as if I was being heartless and unsympathetic.

When I asked him to repeat it all a fourth time, he nearly left the room. At the end of that explanation, he seemed bored of talking about it and was totally unaffected by explaining it all, whereas he was earlier sobbing while explaining.

I pointed this out and he realised what had gone on. It is this process that I want to explain in more detail today and show you how to use it for some amazing effect in your life.

If you have experienced anxiety in the past, it is most likely a learned response, an old habit.

Just like any other habit, physical tension and emotional anxiety can be learned over time and become associated to certain circumstances, events or situations in your life and those events stimulate that anxiety.

It is a core and fundamental belief inherent within modern personal development and certainly within my consulting rooms that anything that can be learned can also be unlearned.

That is, all habits can be broken. I am certainly not saying that it is easy to break an established habit unless, of course, you have the right kind of help and processes at your disposal. First and foremost, I recommend anyone to seek professional assistance with any anxiety disorder, though this process is fabulous for dissipating it too...

When my wife first took in our cat Spooky because he had been abandoned by his previous owners and left without food or shelter for a long time, he mistrusted humans. He actually feared people, which we suspect was due to his poor treatment. You see, even animals can learn to be anxious when they do not necessarily need to.

Our own experience, as well as much documented and researched evidence, shows that animals can also be trained to overcome their anxieties. Spooky now loves the affections and attention of humans and loves being around people in general, so much so that when I am working from home, he jumps all over me and my laptop to get my attention!

One way to break an old habit is by replacing it with a new habit... Anxiety and relaxation are two mutually exclusive states; they cannot dominate the same body at the same time, the stronger one tends to progressively cancel the weaker one out. By training yourself to relax very deeply, and by facing your fears gradually and systematically, you can use the relaxation response to cancel out anxiety, in steps and stages, and replace it with feelings of calm. All it takes is a little patience and focus.

In the example I used right at the beginning of today's Adam Up, it happened quite quickly and immediately; however, much continuance and consistency was required over the following weeks to maintain that and stop any sliding back into old ways.

So today I want to share with you a process known as hypnotic desensitisation which has been used successfully for over fifty years in clinical practice to help people overcome anxiety. It is used in hypnotherapy, cognitive behavioural therapy and many others besides.

You'll begin by easily and simply rehearsing some basic relaxation skills and then facing your fears in the safety of whatever comfortable room or place you choose at the same time. You just use your imagination to picture the things that you want to overcome and dissipate.

By running through such a process, you then find that the same feelings of relaxation remain with you outside in the real world when you have finished the process. Of course, you're likely to find, especially with repetition, that other thoughts and images go through your mind at the same time... That's regular and usual. However, your own stream of thoughts are likely to influence the outcome. So all the time keep thinking progressively, tell yourself you can do it, and imagine yourself relaxing and overcoming the old anxiety stimulus...

Photo: Filipe Frade

Prior to beginning, think of something you'd like to have less (or no) anxiety about. On a scale of 1-10, how anxious do you feel about it? With that situation at the back of your mind, and that number in the front of your mind, proceed with the process. Get in a place and position that will ensure you are undisturbed for a good period of time, with your arms and legs uncrossed and then begin...

Step One: Enter a receptive state of mind.

Take several nice deep breaths, and as you let it out, imagine relaxing your body and softening your muscles. Engage in the moment, focus on your breathing, get really comfortable and let your body kind of begin to melt and float down and relax.

Be an observer of your own experience and just feel everything letting go, absolutely nothing for you to do, just relax. Enjoy the stillness and allow your body to be properly, deeply still. Go inside your mind and just observe what is happening inside you while you are relaxing.

Ideally, go get my book, The Secrets of Self-Hypnosis, and learn how to develop a good level of trance for yourself. Otherwise, use whatever form of meditation or relaxation that is right for you. Then, when you are ready and inwardly focused, proceed to Step Two.

Step Two:

You'll have heard of this... Now start to imagine that you are tensing various muscle groups in turn... Don't actually tense them. Just imagine that you are tensing them. Of course, if you really imagine that you are clenching your fist tightly, for example, you may find your hand muscles tense a little as a result. That's fine. Imagining the feelings of tension first makes it easier for you to then relax the muscles more deeply than usual, and that's just what you're going to do now. After the tension, go ahead and actually relax each muscle group as deeply as you possibly can, if possible, beyond your usual levels of relaxation.

Begin by imagining that every muscle in your body is becoming tense and rigid... Really keep that feeling of tension in mind for a few seconds. Imagine all the muscles are growing more rigid. Then very slowly, relax the body as much as possible.

Work your awareness through your legs, your arms and the remainder of your body -- especially make sure you relax your shoulders deeply, your forehead and tiniest of facial muscles using this process, just imagining that you are tensing them, then relaxing them massively.

Imagine for a few seconds you are tensing each of the muscles, then very slowly, relax the muscles as much as you can... You might want to imagine relaxing colours spreading through the muscles; you may want to repeat the words 'relax', or 'soften' to yourself as each muscle eases further...

End up imagining your eyelids are being squeezed tightly shut and relax them, knowing that the entire body is really deeply relaxed. Keep your attention on what you are doing, not allowing yourself to wander from the process. Your relaxation needs to be mindful in order for this to be most beneficial.

Now imagine that even your breathing is becoming more and more relaxed... Relax your body so deeply that your breathing changes all by itself. When the body is relaxed, it uses less energy, so the breath becomes more shallow and gentle. Let your breathing gently take you deeper into the relaxation and continue with this until you feel relaxed enough to take the next step in the process.

Step Three:

Now, before we progress to the main crux of this process, scan through your entire body. If you notice any last tiny traces of tension whatsoever, just imagine the feeling turning into a cloud of coloured mist or something similar that appeals to you. Maybe you can just imagine it all relaxing away, melting into nothingness.

So this is just really letting go of any last remnants of anything unwanted and leaving you really ready to crack on with the next step.

Step Four:

So now just imagine the scene you thought about prior to starting with this session, that used to make you feel anxious in some way. While you think of it, do just remain nicely and enjoyably relaxed. Think of relaxation, imagine relaxation, focus on letting go more deeply... As you relax, you are neutralising any tension or discomfort that you used to associate with that old stimulus, instead allowing those peaceful feelings spread into your life and into future situations. Really get that lodged into your mind as you relax and think of that situation at the same time.

Do really imagine that you are in that scene right now... See it through your own eyes, as if it is actually happening right now... Make it seem real... All the time remaining wonderfully relaxed. Really believe you are there right now, facing those things, being in that place, hearing those sounds... and continue to let go and relax deeply.

Now fade that scene completely for a few moments. Continue to relax... Calm your mind and smile to yourself inside.

As we did right at the very beginning, just before Step One, on a scale of 1-10, what was your level of discomfort as you imagined that scene just now?

Tell yourself that number and when you know it, move on to the next step.

Step Five:

At this stage, deepen your relaxation. Maybe count your breaths from 10 down to 1 and saying the word 'soften' again as you drift deeper, or maybe imagine walking down some stairs, or imagining all your muscles relaxing again.

So that now, imagine the very same scene again and as you do imagine that, concentrate and focus on remaining beautifully relaxed and at ease. Run through the scene in your mind, the scene that used to make you feel anxious. As you continue to relax, really imagine that you are in that scene right now, as if it is really happening, and continue to let go and relax completely.

Then give yourself a score of 1-10 to rate your discomfort again. Ideally, repeat this process over and over until you reach zero, and even persist with it after you have reached zero.

Step Six:

So up until now, you have been facing your fears or anxiety stimulus and overcoming them by simply relaxing, that is it!

You can always remember how to do that, can't you? I think it is underrated and under used by therapists thinking that things need to be more complex than this.

The more you do this and practice it, the better and better you'll be at relaxing your fears and anxieties away... You'll find that you begin to feel more relaxed and confident in a wider and wider variety of different and related situations in your life.

Great, eh?

Step Seven:

So when you are ready and calm, begin to get a sense of your body again, take a deep relaxing breath, and just let it radiate through you. Let your mind be open to well-being, balance and harmony.

Then go ahead and wiggle your toes and fingers, open your eyes, tune in to your surroundings. Nice and simple, eh?

Tell yourself what you learned from doing this and think of some action you can take today to prove that you are making a progressive change. Go on, go do that...

Some Funny CV Advice...

Some advice, as posted by one of our wonderful members in the members area, I enjoyed this...

This is from a friend of mine, Dennis, who runs a homeless shelter and rehabilitation center in Albuquerque, New Mexico. His center has a job opening, and he listed some of the things he's seen recently (and by the way, a resume is the American term for a CV):

When you submit your cover letter (consider including one when it is requested!) and resume:

• Don't tell me that, although you don't have the particular skills needed for the job, you still think you'd be a good candidate.
   
• Don't write that you didn't pass your Spanish course, but you really did try hard and that is a good quality to have as an employee.
   
• Don't send in your meaningful-to-you-and-your-success-as-an-undergraduate poetry. Especially when the open position is not 'Poet'.
   
• Refer to your interest in an interview, not "coming in for a sit down."
   
• Don't rush through your cut-and-paste job and leave "Dear Ms. McCarthy" in your cover letter when you are actually addressing "Mr. Plummer".
   
• Don't generically refer to the position for which you are applying as, "the position being offered within your company."
   
• Don't begin your letter about a minority population by stating that you believe, "it is the weather that brings them here."
   
• Don't sign yourself as being my "humble servant".
   
• If you have to misspell or leave out a word, at least don't do this in the sentence touting your writing skills.
   
• Don't list getting an annual raise as one of your big achievements in previous jobs.
   
• Don't write in your cover letter that you were dismissed by doctors as having no chance for rehabilitation and then list "dementia, schizophrenia and multiple personalities" as "areas of expertise" in your resume.

Yes, these are all actual things I've seen over my years of hiring people. At least it brightens my day with a good chuckle.

Very funny indeed... I love them... Thank you for sending in the jokes and putting them up in the members area all those of you that do regularly.

As a subscriber to my ezine, you, and anyone you recommend, can consult with me privately for therapy, coaching and personal development at a reduced fee. Get in touch with me to find out more. Just send me an email from the contact us page of my website.

If you want to train to be a hypnotherapist, there has never been a better time, we are thriving in this economic climate! If you'd like to train, check out here for a course prospectus, dates and application form for this year's diploma, fully approved and accredited in several countries... The spaces are going at some pace right now though...

I have new dates for my very popular self-hypnosis seminars too, so go to http://www.adam-eason.com/seminars/self-hypnosis-seminars/ to have one of the limited spaces.

Please remember to tell friends, family, colleagues and anyone else you know how they can receive Adam Up each week and let them know that they get a free hypnosis session, a five day personal development course and a 50,000 word eBook 'The Happy Brain Manual', when they register from my homepage.

Do come and join us in the members area if you wish to discuss any element of this week's Adam Up or the usual subjects of hypnosis, self-hypnosis and much more. There's over 60 hours of free audio material, hundreds of articles to read, and lots of free eBooks too. You get massive savings on all my audio programmes in there too

Do read my daily blog for info, articles commentary and research from the worlds of personal development and hypnosis, and do listen to my podcast, Hypnosis Revealed.

Until next week, enjoy desensitising. I thank you for reading. Goodbye for now!

With my very best wishes,

Adam Eason
www.adam-eason.com