Photo: Emiliano Spada

I have been in London for a few days... One of the main reasons I am staying at the hotel I am at, is that they offer wifi connection, which I need.

I registered and paid for my wifi connection as soon as I arrived and all was good in the world. Then it disappeared. I rang the helpline and they told me it would be fixed within 24 hours. It was not. I rang them again and they told me that the hotel manager was supposed to be getting back to them and had not done so.

I went and spoke to the manager. The lady just laughed out loud insincerely, and ignored my request and advice. She did not get in touch. An electrician was needed to stop the router failing in the building. She said it was a man's job to phone an electrician, and she had no male staff on that day. She then laughed again and told me, "a couple of days without internet might do you some good."

That is my choice to make though, eh? How about you just do what I pay for and expect? I kept calm, communicated nicely and went about my work.

When nothing had been done that evening. I blew my lid with the manager, made her phone the company, and get everything sorted out -- which took us less than 10 minutes to resolve. She could have done that, but had been avoiding it. It was easy, it got sorted and I had wifi again after four days' absence.

This scenario made me angry. I don't get really angry very often. But I was angry. I don't really like to admit it. Heck, I was fuming at a couple of stages, wondering where my customer service and care was... Anyway...

It is that subject, the volatile topic of anger that I am writing about today.

In most cases, anger is an overreaction to a situation. It is a primary, raw, negative emotion, anger influences the entire person and how that person successfully reacts to his or her environment. It is often all-encompassing and can ensue that we act and react in ways that we may later regret.

When someone is in a chronically angry state, that anger is usually excessive and irrational. They display impatience, constant hurrying, a sense of time urgency; it is a self-centred behaviour, often accompanied by verbal aggression, and hostility. Sometimes though, anger may be buried and not something an individual is consciously aware of and as it boils away underneath the surface can add to depression and resentment in many aspects of life.

We all tend to know that these days, we get physically affected by our emotions and especially intense feelings we experience.

The body reacts to anger by increasing respiratory rate, pulse rate, and blood to the muscles that move the body's bones. It also constricts the pupils of the eyes, and pumps out hormones from the adrenal gland. It is quite an assault to the system.

Anger should be experienced, expressed and acknowledged, in order to let go of it and the conflict it was connected with. It should not inhabit the mind for any extended period of time however. The best way to deal with anger is to recognise and deal with it in a positive way. Positive ways to deal with anger could include taking responsibility for behaviour, negotiating with people, taking time out, and hitting a punching bag or a pillow. I strongly advise not to drink alcohol as a coping tool and to remember that negative emotional displays are not in your best interest!

The professional psychological approach usually deals with chronic anger in one of the following ways:

• The projection method helps the individual recognise how the anger is being used as an ego defence mechanism to deny the unconscious root of the anger.
• The behavioural approach explores practical ways to avoid people and situations that make one angry.
• The interpersonal approach focuses on developing communication skills to improve relationships with others.
• The cognitive approach helps to find and correct the distortion of your ideas about life and other people.

There are many approaches! I don't really want to get bogged down with these approaches today...

Anger is always negative and is a choice. By learning to acknowledge and then release anger, you open yourself up to change and renewal, and you can lead a happier life.

Self-hypnosis can and does aid anger. So today I am offering you the following strategies that can be used to diffuse and let go of anger before and when it gets out of perspective.

Photo: Konrado Fedorczyko

This is a real basic technique and a slightly more advanced one follows...

Step One:

Take several nice deep breaths, and as you let it out, imagine relaxing your body and softening your muscles. Engage in the moment, focus on your breathing, get really comfortable and let your body kind of begin to melt and float down and relax.

Be an observer of your own experience and just feel everything letting go, absolutely nothing for you to do, just relax. Enjoy the stillness and allow your body to be properly, deeply still. Go inside your mind and just observe what is happening inside you while you are relaxing.

Ideally, go get my book, The Secrets of Self-Hypnosis, and learn how to develop a good level of trance for yourself. Otherwise, use whatever form of meditation or relaxation that is right for you. Then, when you are relaxed, still and feel that your mind is receptive, proceed to Step Two.

Step Two:

Using your imagination as best as you can, imagine and get a sense that you are sitting in a soft, comfortable chair with a very large TV screen in front of you. Choose where you are, what things you see, hear and feel.

Let yourself be alone and comfortable in this place of your design, ensuring you feel safe and secure and nicely at home. Just notice a light flickers on the TV screen. It seems to flicker very rapidly. It is flickering so fast that you cannot see the image. Now a red flashing light is seen on the screen. This red light is flicking faster and faster.

Inside your mind, see the red light flashing, immerse yourself in it. Imagine that this is taking you deeper inside your mind, and when you have watched this for a while, proceed to the next step.

Step Three:

Now as you watch, see and sense the red light turning to blue. The screen is getting centred and more soothing to watch, it is slowing down. The blue colour starts to increasingly soothe you. It relaxes you more and more now. Feel how the blue colour makes you feel calmer and calmer and inside your mind repeat the words to yourself that the light is making you calmer and calmer. Let the blue light gently spread throughout your mind and body until you start to feel an increased sense of well-being.

Spend as much time as is necessary to really get a state change here. Experience the blue light and let it work its magic on you before you proceed.

Step Four:

Having done that for a good period of time, now observe the screen and see yourself doing something you enjoy. See yourself taking your time and experiencing each moment. Free of any old, unwanted feelings. See yourself feeling happy at what you are doing. Imagine that you are elated and filled with joy and that you step into that image and become that person. Really see what you see, hear what you hear and experience the feelings of doing that thing that you love so much.

Allow a sense of love and well-being to surround your mind and body. Allow it to permeate every cell of your being. Every cell, every fiber, every tissue, every muscle, every organ, every bone in your body is absorbing this love. And just get some multi-sensory absorption for a moment and feel this love for as long as you feel is necessary.

You fill your mind and body with positive thoughts as you notice how much happier and increasingly positive you feel. Tell yourself that this feeling stays with you.

Step Five:

So when you are ready and calm, begin to get a sense of your body again, take a deep relaxing breath and just let it radiate through you. Let every cell be open to well-being, balance and harmony.

Then go ahead and wiggle your toes and fingers, open your eyes, tune in to your surroundings. Nice and simple, eh? This next method is a bit more advanced and slightly more complex. Only slightly though ;-)

6 More Steps to Eliminate Anger: Taking this a step further...

Step One:

Exactly as we did before... Take several nice deep breaths, and as you let it out, imagine relaxing your body and softening your muscles. Engage in the moment, focus on your breathing, get really comfortable and let your body kind of begin to melt and float down and relax.

Be an observer of your own experience and just feel everything letting go, absolutely nothing for you to do, just relax. Enjoy the stillness and allow your body to be properly, deeply still. Go inside your mind and just observe what is happening inside you while you are relaxing.

Step Two:

Imagine you are walking along a path in nature, just enjoying a sense of yourself. Breathing the air, seeing the sights, hearing the sounds that are right for you. Let yourself walk at your own pace. Enjoy the natural place around you. See the colours, experience your senses. Take all the time necessary to really get a sense of this place all around you.

Stop for a moment and look up at the sky. Imagine and notice that there are dark clouds overhead and it is getting darker. You know that these are thunderclouds. Look at these clouds as they gather over you. Feel the storm brewing in the sky above you. Get a sense of them and what they are about. The wind starts blowing harder. The clouds are getting bigger and darker. Smell the air and feel it grow closer around you.

Imagine, sense and tune in to the sound of the roll of thunder coming in. Watch as a flash of lightning reaches out across the sky. Watch as the sky lights up. Feel the power of the lightning. Hear the rolls of thunder booming all around you. Loud and sharp. Feel the power of the thunder. This is a very big storm.

Hear it, sense it and see the storm. Engage with it and all that it represents. Spend all the time needed for you to get a real sense of all this.

Step Three:

Drops of rain are now starting to fall. The drops of rain are falling on top of you. Feel them on your hair, your arms, your clothes. Imagine the sensation of it, the smell, the look of it upon you. Look along the path.

Imagine that a short distance away, you see a house. Walk towards the house as the rain falls harder and harder. The house has a covered porch. Walk onto the porch and turn around. Watch as the rain continues to pour down harder and harder. Protected on the porch, see the torrents of rain fall upon the ground. Hear the thunder roll across the sky. See the lightning continue to flash.

Tune in and experience the storm from this sheltered place.

Step Four:

Next up, turn towards the door of the house and open it. Imagine that everything in the house is as you have always wanted it. Imagine that the colour of the carpet is your favourite colour. The room is cosy and warm. Look around the room and to the left you see a fireplace with a comfortable chair in front of it. Sit down in the chair, it is exactly right for you, you settle into it and it moulds and melds itself to you.

Imagine that there is a blazing fire in the fireplace. The flames are filled with colours. Feel the fire dry your clothes as you sit comfortably in the chair. You feel warm and protected from the storm outside. Feel the contentment start to seep into your body. Feel how centred and calm you are becoming. Take all the time you need to truly relax and let go and be calmer and calmer. Tune into the peace.

Step Five:

Know that you are now out of the storm. You are safe and feeling safer with each moment. Imagine, sense and feel the rays of happiness start to work through your body making you feel truly at peace right now. When you are ready, turn and look out the window. Imagine the sun's rays coming through the window and making bright patterns on the floor. Hear the sounds of life outside. Imagine that you put a smile on your face and across your entire sense of being. Tell yourself that this feeling stays with you.

Step Six:

So when you are ready and calm, begin to get a sense of your body again, take a deep relaxing breath and just let it radiate through you. Let every cell be open to well-being, balance and harmony.

Then go ahead and wiggle your toes and fingers, open your eyes, tune in to your surroundings.

This week, practice letting go of anger, even if you have not been overtly angry. Take some time out to do this to let go of s much as you can and feel that sense of letting go of what you no longer need. And use these techniques to firmly dissipate any overt anger in case you encounter some stroppy girls!

The Top Ten Jokes from This Year's Edinburgh Festival

The top 10 jokes from this year's Edinburgh Festival:

1. Dan Antopolski -- "Hedgehogs -- why can't they just share the hedge?"
    
2. Paddy Lennox -- "I was watching the London Marathon and saw one runner dressed as a chicken and another runner dressed as an egg. I thought, 'This could be interesting.'"
    
3. Sarah Millican -- "I had my boobs measured and bought a new bra. Now I call them Joe Cocker and Jennifer Warnes because they're up where they belong."
    
4. Zoe Lyons -- "I went on a girls' night out recently. The invitation said 'dress to kill'. I went as Rose West."
    
5. Jack Whitehall -- "I'm sure wherever my dad is, he's looking down on us. He's not dead, just very condescending."
    
6. Adam Hills -- "Going to Starbucks for coffee is like going to prison for sex. You know you're going to get it, but it's going to be rough."
    
7. Marcus Brigstocke -- "To the people who've got iPhones: you just bought one, you didn't invent it!"
    
8. Rhod Gilbert -- "A spa hotel? It's like a normal hotel, only in reception there's a picture of a pebble."
    
9. Dan Antopolski -- "I've been reading the news about there being a civil war in Madagascar. Well, I've seen it six times and there isn't."
    
10. Simon Brodkin (as Lee Nelson) -- "I started so many fights at my school -- I had that attention-deficit disorder. So I didn't finish a lot of them."

Very funny indeed... I love them... Thank you for sending in the jokes and putting them up in the members area all those of you that do regularly.

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Until next week, enjoy letting go of your anger. I thank you for reading. Goodbye for now!

With my very best wishes,

Adam Eason
www.adam-eason.com