Adam's Birthday and his Life Coach Demonstrate what he Values |
It is my birthday on Friday the 7th August, so we have a birthday special offer for you this week, do go and take notice of it, it will only be available for this week.
For my birthday, I plan to spend some quality time with my wife at a fabulous restaurant. I am also having an evening with friends and family, as we go to watch Bournemouth Symphony Orchestra play in the big park near to us; we are going to enjoy a picnic and have a lot of fun.
I choose to spend my celebrations this way because I truly value the close friendships and relationships with my family. I value the love and affection shared and the peace of mind it gives me to be with them.
Following much discussion with my life coach in recent weeks, we looked at my own values... Values are basically an honest answer to the question, "What is important to you?" My life coach and I both need to know this information to ensure I am driven by the work we are doing and a range of other reasons too.
Having not examined my values for a long while, I was surprised by how much mine had changed, and also how much they affect me!
According to my very thick Collins English dictionary, values are, "Principles, qualities or entities that are intrinsically valuable or desirable." The term "value" originally meant "the worth of something," primarily relating to the economic sense of exchange value.
However, during the 19th century; under the influence of brilliant thinkers such as the wonderful Friedrich Nietzsche, values has become more of a philosophical notion too... In recent years, the notion of values has worked itself into modern personal development and now has a very important part to play.
Of course, values are associated with worth, meaning and desire and therefore are a primary source of motivation in people's lives... I have discovered that to my delight this very week. When people's values are met or matched, they feel a sense of satisfaction, harmony, and connection with people and the world around them. When their values are not met or matched, people often feel dissatisfied, incongruent, or violated in some way.
So if we know them, we can work on getting them met, can't we?
As an exploration of your own values, consider for a moment how you would respond to the following questions: "In general, what motivates you?" 'What is most important to you?" "What moves you to action, or gets you out of bed in the morning?"
Here is a list of common life values to stimulate your thoughts:
Success, Praise, Recognition, Responsibility, Pleasure, Love, Acceptance, Achievement, Creativity, Freedom, Contribution, Fun, Family, Growth, Passion, Carefulness, Affection, Accomplishment, Decisiveness, Wisdom, Service, Talent, Simplicity, Virtue, Reliability, Friendship, Respect, Resolve, Originality, Openness, Mindfulness, Longevity, Leadership, Intimacy, Generosity, Faith, Grace, Enthusiasm, Experience, Uniqueness, Endurance, Dominancy, Direction, Commitment, Security, Balance, beauty, Care, Courage, Encouragement, Fitness, Agility, Health, Helpfulness, Mastery, Impact, Modesty, Organisation, Peace, Power, Privacy, Reason, Realism, Serenity, Sympathy, Toughness, Trust, Youthfulness, Wonder, Punctuality, Productivity, Perseverance, Intuition, Independence, Flow, Discipline, Self-actualisation, Charm, Certainty, Awareness.
Values such as these greatly influence and direct the outcomes that we establish and the choices that we make.
If you look at the goals that you have set for yourself in life, they are pretty much an expression of your values. A person whose goal is to "be self-employed" probably values "freedom"; a person whose goal is to be managing director of the company may value "power"; a person whose goal is to "find the right partner and get married" may well value "stability."
Similarly, we can look at it the other way around too... A person who does have that value of "stability" is likely to set goals related to achieving stability in his or her personal or professional life, aren't they? Such a person will seek different outcomes than a person who values "flexibility," for example.
A person who values stability may also be content with a 9-to-5 job that has consistent pay and involves well established tasks. A person who values flexibility, on the other hand, may try to find work involving a range of tasks and a variable time schedule.
A person's values will also shape how that individual perceives the situations in their life. This then determines how a person behaves and approaches that situation and also, what actions that person takes in that situation.
For example, a person who values "safety," is likely to keep evaluating a situation or activity as to whether it is potentially dangerous or not. Whereas a person who values "fun" is more likely to assess the same situation by looking for humour or playfulness, or opportunities to laugh.
Values help us make our decisions as we do. If you think about times when you have had to make decisions, think that if you knew your highest values, and what is important to you, the decisions tend to make themselves in ways that are for your highest good, and NOT in ways that conflict with your values and cause problems or friction in your life.
This week then, I am sharing with you a process for identifying your values in life and then putting them into an order so that you can create a hierarchy of values... |